“You’re such a failure. Why could you not get it? Just not smart enough, I guess.”
When I was a kid, I took piano lessons, but that was a terrible experience and not the storyline of this post. When I got involved in church as a kid and teen, I thought true ministry was on stage with a mic in hand, and if it wasn’t preaching, then it had to be playing an instrument, namely, the piano, and if it wasn’t playing the piano, it must be singing.
When I married Keith, who was from a long line of musicians, ministers, and song birds…well, I thought I HAD to “fit”. I tried to play the piano – massive fail. I tried to sing, and I did lead worship – a lot – when we didn’t have anyone else. But again, nope. Not good at it. I tried to preach like a house on fire on a windy day – uhh 
– MISTAKE. Talk about falling flat on your face!!!
The reasons vary as to why I felt ministry was on stage, mic in hand. I could blame people. They should have taught me better. Others shouldn’t have point blank asked me why in the world I couldn’t play. Others shouldn’t have made me feel like a failure. And that one gal, in the hall at a church, me – just a year into marriage, should have never let me have overheard her saying to someone else, “She can’t even play an instrument! What was he (Keith) thinking? And she cuts her hair!”
The other gal, “God forbid.”
Honestly, as I’ve typed this, I’ve actually smiled at the growth in me and chuckled at the ignorance of others. Prayerfully, they’ve all grown, as well. Ministry = service. Ministry takes place anywhere a child of God is assigned, on or off a platform.
My, how far we’ve come, right?! God is good. So, when that crazy, demonic thought hit me the other day, the gracious, Abba Father said, “Margie, don’t go back there.” And, I didn’t. And, I never will, again. God forbid.
