While hanging laundry in my closet this morning, I sat down and cried. Hot, angry, hurt tears coursed down my cheeks. As I do quite often, I began a conversation with myself.
“Why in the world are you crying?”
“I shrank my shrug.”
“Are you serious? Really? You’re crying over a shrug?”
“Yes! I am! I shrank my shrug! I’ve been so careful to not put it in the dryer until now. How did I miss it when I sorted the clothes?”
“Margie, this is ridiculous, get up and finish your job and move on.”
So, I stood up, wiped the tears, and continued my task.
The symptoms of stress manifest in many forms. They can burst forth seemingly out of nowhere. Just when you think you’ve conquered it, it shows its ugly head.
But the truth is we can conquer it. And the truth is I’m conquering it. Does it mean I’m not ever going to stress? No. It simply means that more and more I’m able to deal with it and move on. Three years ago that little shrug issue wouldn’t have happened at all because I would have already had a break down way before. In fact, the laundry would probably be piling up twice as high because the stress would have gotten me so bogged down that all housework would be neglected in general. And my husband would have gotten the brunt of it; crying on his shoulder, boo-hooing about all the major transition and roller coaster rides of life, and him comforting me. Not this time! I sucked it up like a big girl. It’s comforting to see the transitions in myself.
Stressful situations seem to increase in life. As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve seen the symptom cycles not repeating themselves. That’s a good thing in my book. Though the stress levels increase the symptoms decrease. I’d like to think they diminish all together. I’m not foolish enough to believe that. What I can attest to is that I’m not where I’m at on my own.
There is another man I’ve learned to thoroughly turn to, other than my husband. This man is magnificent. He leads by example and then comes back to hold my hand while I follow in his footsteps.
This relationship is still developing day by day. Having been a skeptic, pessimist, and even dubbed a conspiracy-theorist by some, the steps to this kind of reliance have been doubly difficult for me. Some of you understand me. Yet, here I am, another step closer to living stress-relieved, only because of this relationship with this glorious man.
He’s not a mere man. He’s supernatural, superior, spiritual, and strong.
He calls to me on a regular basis, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
He doesn’t condemn me because I’m weary and burdened. He simply says, “Come and receive my rest.”
I shrank my shrug this morning. It was my favorite one; black, flowing in length, quarter length sleeves with a little ruching, and a cute collar. It could have been the end of the world. Because it wasn’t just that I shrank my shrug, it’s that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Change after change; disappointments after disappointments; twist after twist; up and down, up and down; circumstances and situations had already been layered on top of me. Then, when I saw my shrug, something inside of me collapsed. And the tears came like a flood.
This time, however, I heard a voice. The voice of the One I love. Calling my name, saying, “Come here daughter, rest your head on my chest, and receive my rest.”
Jesus. What a lovely name. What a lovely man. What a lovely life He has given me.
I shrank my shrug…so what? I don’t know what tomorrow holds…so what? I know who holds me and that’s all that matters.
[Next blog, coming soon, “Good Stress”]
