If you’ve never watched a sunrise before, you’re missing out on an incredible event. The experience of a sunrise, in its serene atmosphere, is breath taking and can be very re-centering. I’m not talking about worshiping the sun or being weird. I’m talking about being in the moment, sensing the magnanimity of the Creator and the representation of a sunrise. It brings us back into focus. It reminds us that every day is a fresh start, a new beginning, another series of hours to do something more, something meaningful; to forget past failures and stop looking in the rearview mirror.
Last night, I kept waking up and hearing one phrase, as I was reminded of a very revelatory time in my life.
I kept hearing, “Pinch the sunrise”.
I thought, “How odd”, the first time I roused from sleep hearing those words.
Then, I saw myself, sitting in the Odyssey, “pinching” the sunrise in the distance, between my forefinger and thumb, while squinting one eye. And I remembered. I knew instantly of what the Lord was trying to remind me. I was taken back to Ocean Isle Beach…
Every year we go to Ocean Isle Beach, NC and serve as pastors of the island for the week. Keith preaches twice on the Sunday that begins the week; once on the beach beside the ocean where hundreds literally come with their blankets and bag chairs to hear the Word, and then again in the Beach Chapel. During the week, we get to enjoy the parsonage beach house and the small island itself. Sometimes there are funerals and weddings to conduct, sometimes people want counseling and prayer; but it also serves a wonderful get away and family vacation time for us.
At the time, Isabella wasn’t quite a year and a half, yet. Keith and I had felt like strangers in our own home for months by that time. His schedule was crazy busy, and I was home. My world had been turned upside down; after 10 years of a certain groove and then all of a sudden, life jumped the track on me. I knew I was blessed beyond measure, I just felt numb. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and running on empty – even the fumes had dissipated.
It hadn’t been a pleasant couple of days for us, we were drifting a part. I watched as two boats in the water were moving away from each other, slowly but surely, and I felt like that was what was happening to the love of my life and me. Let me clarify, it wasn’t that we were calling it quits, or that “quits” was anywhere in our thinking! We would never give up on us. Ever. We were fighting for our marriage, we really were trying, we just didn’t know what to do beyond a certain point we had come to. That morning, after a fitful night’s sleep, I finally got up while it was still dark and decided to go do one of my favorite things in the world – watch the sunrise.
I can’t say my prayer life was the best at that point; my relationship with Jesus was suffering, which resulted in suffering relationships with everyone else dear to me. That was the revelation that dawned on me as the light dawned that day.
I parked in a lot and talked to Jesus. As the sun rose, I “pinched” it between my fingers, with one eye squinted, and followed it’s rise. As it rose, my fingers spread out to accommodate the size, until I couldn’t “contain” it any longer, even between both hands.
The Lord and I had a good talk that glorious morning. I wept like a baby. I was FINALLY feeling again. The warmth of the sun on me brought the thawing I needed inside. Everything changed that day. I typed out an email (because I express myself best in writing) full of my feelings along with an apology to my heartbeat – my husband – my soulmate and dearest, dearest friend. How had I let it get so out of hand? How did I let hurts and disappointments drive me away from the man who loved me so thoroughly and unconditionally? How? Because, I had left my First Love. When I returned to Him, everything good returned to me. Yes, everything changed that day, because I changed.
If you need a change in your life, if you need to be thawed out and warmed up, if you need a revelation and dawning of a new day inside of you – tomorrow, go pinch the sunrise. Yesterday is gone. Today soon will be passed. Tomorrow, start afresh!
